So if you’ve been following me for a bit you’ve probably noticed that my boyfriend and I are no longer, maybe by the few dramatic quotes I posted around the time it happened or the slightly more risque content lol sorry guys… kept it minimal but you know how it is.
I got a lot of girls dm’ing me asking for advice but I wanted to wait a bit before I made this post, just to make sure I had really gone through all the motions before I spoke on it.
My ex and I were together for a few solid years, went through all the ups & downs. I met him at a weird time in my life, he was the stable rock that helped me get my shit together. I grew a lot because of him & truthfully don’t think I would be where I am today if I never met him. I’ll spare you the details on how we broke up, was pretty crazy tbh and would probably make this a lot more interesting to read. But I don’t want everyone to hate him lol. That’s not the purpose of this, this has everything to do with me & nothing to do with him.
Simply put, my intention behind this is to help some of you out(bigSisyou) that might be going through a breakup or just a rough spot in general…
So, first things first. You don’t want to be with someone who doesn’t want to be with you. When I heard the words “Im not in love with you anymore”, it was probably the most liberating moment of the past 4 years. I spent so much time trying to explain myself & make my personality easier for him to digest. Which would make anyone crazy but for me, hopeless romantic, I thought that’s just what you do when you love someone. There was always that little voice in the back of my head telling me something didn’t feel right. Hearing those words meant that I was free from feeling the need to be anything other than my complete self. Risque photos and all. Guilt Free. So when I say that it wasn’t hard for me to get over it… I really mean it. I was broken up with, but because I realized that he didn’t love me for me, it didn’t even feel like ending things was his choice. I don’t want to be with someone who doesn’t want to be with me. So there was no remorse there & truthfully I knew it was coming.
The first & probably only negative thought that popped into my brain was “I just wasted so much time” and I felt that for a minute. But I also truly believe that every person comes into your life for a reason and that theres lessons in everything. So I focused on every lesson I learned throughout knowing him and looked for them every time I got to that negative space. It kept me from feeling like I wasted any time. My progression as a person is all that matters anyways.
In the past, I’ve handled breakups with a lot of anger. So I made a very conscious effort to handle this with love. I think that with age you kinda learn to let go of being angry because all it does is litter your own life with negativity. I want to have the fullest life for myself and theres no space for that.
Do things that make your heart feel full. Like taking a spontaneous month long trip to Europe?? I know for me personally, when I’m going through a hard time, I need perspective. I need to remove myself from my world & see life on a bigger scope than just me and my small problems. So, I bought the tickets and planned the trip. I’ll be going to London, Paris & Florence with two of my best friends & filling myself with aaaall the love(&carbs). Monetarily might not make the mooost sense right now, but I believe in making these things a priority and… yolo hehe.
Coming out of my situation, after doing everything within my ability to make it work… all I cared about is the fact that I know I am fully capable of giving someone complete unconditional love and thats something to be happy about. I know I have a lot of love to give and I know im not flawed in any way. He just wasn’t the one & I’m just not done yet… which is exciting more than anything.
Just know that life hands you just what you need, when you need it. Make sure you pay attention. Learn to accept it.
Alright I’m done being cheesy for now.